How are you getting along with your in-laws? Would you like to improve the relationship? Whether it is an issue with your daughter/son in-law or mother/father in-law, it is helpful for everyone concerned, including the children, to be able to feel good about each other and communicate constructively. As a Marriage, Family Therapist, men and women often told me about the problems and hurt feelings they were having with their in-laws. Often, the unresolved issues also had a negative effect on their partnership or marriage. One way I helped them was to offer them ways to improve their interactions. The following communication guidelines can assist you to have a better relationship with your in-laws. Put a check next to the statements that you want to express to them.
A) To My Mother/Father In-law Please. 1. Understand that we both love and want the best for your son/daughter. 2. Open your heart to me and welcome me into the family. 3.
Allow me to also love you. 4. Respect and accept me for who I am.
5. Appreciate all that I do. 6. See the ways I balance your son/daughter. 7. Speak directly to me if you have a problem and help me seek a win-win solution.
8. Help me encourage your son/daughter to be his/her unique, adult self. 9. Have our happiness in mind with all your words and actions.
10. Remember what you wanted from your in-laws and offer us the same. 11.
Thank you for hearing me, and for parenting such a wonderful person. 12. I love you! B) To My Daughter/Son In-law Please. 1.
Understand that I want to be close to you and my son/daughter. 2. Open your heart to me and let me welcome you into the family. 3. Be kind and patient with me. 4.
Respect and accept me for who I am. 5. Appreciate all that I do. 6.
Be open to my suggestions and then feel free to do what you want. 7. Speak directly to me if you have a problem and help me seek a win-win solution.
8. Help me encourage my son/daughter to be his/her unique, adult self. 9. Tell me in a loving way if you feel I am interfering.
10. Remember I love you both and I want you to be happy and healthy. 11. Thank you for hearing me, and being kind and loving to my son/daughter.
12. I love you! Now that you are more aware of what you want to say to your in-laws, you may want to schedule a time when you can communicate in a loving voice. Be patient, forgiving, and persevering. Also, focus in on what you can do differently to improve the relationship. Do your best to create a wonderful, loving family.
You deserve it!.
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! A Unique Guide to Holistic and Rapid Transformation." She offers phone sessions, books, e-books, MP3 audios, posters, cards, teleclasses, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.